Nah, it was the regular old 5-speed.

My first car was a Dodge Colt. But it wasn’t anything fun like the Vista. It was the run of the mill 4 door. So was my second. Third car was also a Colt, but that time I managed to get my hands on the 1.6 L 4G32 turbo I4 version, but it was so tired by the time it fell into my hands that it hardly mattered.

Have any teams offered him a contract yet?

No, those increase the body’s level’s beyond what naturally occurs. Sports are about humans competing with each other with what nature gave them. Nature gave Sememya this. Nature gave Michael Phelps his freakish proportions and lower than normal lactic acid production.

My only encounter with a wrestler in real life is thrilling:

All of a sudden, this makes more sense:

WHAT IS THIS AND WHY AM I JUST SEEING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME?!?!?!

Saw Mr. Morris a couple of weeks ago. He’s still killing it.

At this point, the only thing more ridiculous that could happen is a clown car stops in the middle of the Champs-Élysées, 3 dozen sad clowns pile out and cause a pile-up as the bell rings on the last lap.

Last year at the UCI Worlds, I got to the race a couple of laps into the U23 Men’s race, just as the peloton was passing. I pull up to the side of the course to watch them pass (I was riding along a roadside bike path), and after the main group passed, one rider was a little off the back, dick out, pissing off the…

Sure, there have always been fans who crowd the roads, but it seems like it’s getting worse the last few years. Previously there was always a marked difference between the fan behavior at the Tour of California and the big European races.

Came for this. Was not disappointed.

Oh come on... When I try and convince people that cycling isn’t ridiculous, this happens. It’s like they’re trying to make everyone look like a bunch of clowns...

Clearly I don’t.

That wasn’t intended to be funny.

He has admitted in interviews to exposing himself at work. That’s already creepy enough.

*sad slide trombone sound*

So, does that mean, as I’m almost 40, I’ll never even have a chance to BE a competitive Deadspin commenter?

I’d be completely fine with that.

Like I said, I assumed it was standard, and I’m not surprised that there’s a governmental regulation covering it. It’s just second nature at this point, in gear before getting out, clutch in when starting, check lever before releasing.