How dare you! What kind of soulless jackal makes a joke like this? Cecil is dead. DEAD! The single greatest lion ever to lion was slain by a dentist. FUCKING HERMIE KILLED SIMBA! And you. You think this is fodder for your jocularity? This right here is why Deadspin is target #2 after the mary jane for - wait, target…

He’s an eleventy-seven pack a day smoker. He’s almost completely made of sensient tobacco at this point.

Oh FFS when ISN’T Boner crying?

African-Americans: they all look alike to Gawker.

Andy:

Well, I think we can all see the right here kind of horrible discrimination that led Hulk Hogan to his awful breakdown; stressing him so greatly that he thought that it would be ok to use the n-word. If you can’t even get into some shady party...

Are you kidding? Santorum is a HERO after this to his base. He went into the lion’s den with the evil high priestess off all lesbiana and somehow emerged with his soul intact and not having sucked a cock on live television. He can rest on this for the rest of his life. He’ll never have to buy a glass of milk in any…

*minse. there. fixed that for ya, dan.

Other teams uh... women sense Tony Khan’s power and they seek the life essence. He, uh... he does not avoid other teams, Magary. But he... he does deny them his essence.

You, sir, have the right stuff.

Stick with me, Andy’s. Once we bust outta the greys we’re gonna take a few ill-advised timeouts and stare blank-faced into the eyes of all of Canadia!

Bill Simmons IS the True Detective.

Fucking Canadian are the most thin-skinned shit weasels every to drag themselves from a pot-fueled beer and pancake feast slathered with syrup to peck away at their sticky keyboards. It must be the cold. Or the moose fucking. One of the two. Whatever it is, those fuckers are pure-d whiners. Except for Ryan Reynolds.…

Exactly. How is that not glaringly apparent?

But how much did he win by making that shot? That right thar was some Tin Cup shit.

Personally, I’d like to think that he is reacting just as one of the characters on the show would react. For exactly the reason that they react that way. I think he knows and is playing for the people who know him. I’d like to think he is self-aware enough to know what he has created and that he enjoys it for what it…

Oh Plax...you’re dead on with that carpet bagger, Saban. But Eli still wakes up sobbing your name and reaching for the ring your ill-planned club visit almost assuredly cost him.

Maybe the depression is related to their depicted epic flatulence? Just, uh, throwing shit out there.

I should have also complimented you on the rest of the well-researched and smartly written article. But I am sure you get plenty of praise for that kinda thing.

What have you done to the hippity-hop?