Just for the record, I totally preferred Needy over Jennifer.

Wait. Just...wait. "Monica" Warhol?

Cue Michael Douglas: "You can get throat cancer from smoking cock, you fools. YOU FOOOOOOOOOOOOOLS!"

I'm feeling judged and insecure. I feel like I should post a photo and be judged even further. Why have all the women I have ever been with lied to me about my penis being "almost adequate"? WHY?

Why wouldn't they just have done a late-term abortion. No muss. No fuss. Chuck that dead fetus in the can and slap her back in the cell.

Oh no, he's already made clear once that prospective dates ought to remember that he can send a drone to kill them. Which is funny because drones kill lotsa people. Because he has them do so.

Has anyone mentioned that Hitler painted too. Because he did. Hitler did. Hitlery Hitler paintings of Hitler stuff. Just EXACTLY like Bush paints Bushy Bush stuff. So, to recap: painters = Bush = Hitler. Bad, bad, Chimpy McBushitler. ALL REPUBLICANS MUST DIE! If only Hitler were alive today. And a Democrat. We could…

Phil. It would have to be Phil, wouldn't it?

I think everyone is being pretty harsh here. I am pretty sure that this piece absolutely captures with stunning accuracy exactly what a double beej from Rebecca and KiKi entails...and why the doucebag was probably justified in not sporting wood.

Now, about that photo of her...she had to have lost a bet right?

The report went on to state that while studies are inconclusive on whether or not the pill will blind you, there is still definitive clinical proof that masturbation will indeed do so as well as grow fur on your palms and lose the war for the allies, you filthy whores.

I think this could be a great marketing campaign for the film: Dakota bound with the tagline, "Sometimes you feel a like a knot." Then we re-work the Mounds/Almond Joy jingle to suit it.

Whatever, Laura. SHOW US YOUR FUCKING TITS! C'mon, we're not here to read your writing, SHAKE DAT ASSSSS FOR US GIRL! I betcha Laura writes dis shit NAKED! Admit it, yer buck ass nekkid right now and all turned on and shit from these comments. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT! Gimme some GRIND, baby! Ain't nobody here cares about…

Sadly, this just makes me question everything since I recognize pretty much all of those as "orgasms" I've been party to over the years and now I just...

*sob*

Nothing has any meaning! My entire sex life has been a LIE!

John Glover was rehearsing a show and his rehearsals evidently ended at the same time as I left work, so for a week I'd see him every night when I got on the elevator and we'd smile and nod maybe say hello. Just routine fellow commuter, I'm a cool New Yorker and I am not going to squeal "IT'S LIONEL FUCKING LUTHER!!"…

I used to work on Broadway shows, once upon a time. The building where we had our office also housed the offices for several theatres and a few rehearsal spaces. I have a million celebrity elevator stories.

Once I got on and found myself standing next to Robert Sean Leonard. The elevator was packed. It stopped its…

I once found myself on an elevator with Kenneth Branagh. Being inebriated, I did what I felt any sensible person should do under those circumstances: I complimented him on his body of work and asked if he would give me HBC's phone number. He stopped ignoring me long enough to look up and chuckle, "You can't actually…

I just went through the comments screaming, "THESE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH BOB FUCKING FOSSE OR ANN GODDAMN REINKING!"

Then I remembered what this section was, chastised myself and did the rake.

YES! For the V reference!

Harley Quinn and...Harley Quinn.

I kept waiting for Jessica Lange to call from offstage, "Spalding! Get in here!"