My husband and I met in grad school and didn't hit it off immediately. We got stuck in the same miserable class together on Monday nights. It talked about music history, and one night the instructor went on an endless ramble about Schubert's "syphilis attacks" and kept saying the nonsense phrase "syphilis attacks"…

Newly single, I ran into this hot guy I was acquainted with at a bar after my band played a show. I was like "Hey, I know you. What's your name again?"

He told me his name and my next question was "Wanna go make out in your car?"

SQUEEEEEEEEEE!

HER STOMACH LOOKS LIKE MINE!!!! HER THIGHS LOOK LIKE MINE!

Every nope, including Leslie kNope.

"Ah, a new baby!"

Tilda Swinton and Lupita Nyong'o play the star-crossed lovers. Tom Hiddleston is their guardian angel trying to bring them back together. Nic Cage is the demon trying to keep them apart. Jim Varney is the folksy bookstore employee who finds the letter. Benedict Cumberbatch is Tilda's asexual, aloof older brother. …

"Ok, but what about

Same. I watched this and the last back to back. I think my cat was worried

I cried. Like, snotty, hiccup-sob cried. It was not pretty.

"I discovered that when it comes to love, there aren't any real concessions to make. When you really love someone and they love you back, giving in or making a sacrifice isn't really giving in or making a sacrifice — it's just something you have to do, or a step you have to take to get something that's more important…

That's enough internet for today. I'm out. Good bye y'all, I'll remember you all in therapy.

I've never posted here before but always lurked. As a survivor of domestic violence, the responses here really sadden me.

As a child whose mother failed to protect her from abusive stepfathers/boyfriends, I say fuck her. Children are utterly defenseless and can't leave an abusive situation under their own power. This woman's kids didn't choose her shitty boyfriend.

Thank you. I no longer want one of these.

That was a better appetite suppressant than people of walmart.

Can I just say..." Sleeping Beat-y"?..... Bravo! Bravo Madame! You're one of the great wits of our generation & I salute you

Typically I just yell "Last one to finish does the dishes" and make it a race.

The only thing that is bad about this is that he woke his partner up from her REM cycle. That shit is not on when you have a job to get to in the morning

I would have stuck my fingers in my vagina and painted fuck you with period blood on the wall, but I'm an animal.