This is so dumb but I am totally giggling at it. :D

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I would wear my jumper with pride.

That's my situation, as well. I really, deeply envy people with role-model moms.

I have been shunning button-downs for years for this reason!

I am 100% with you. I love my mom, but can't rely on her.

Yeah, but how long does mud really stick to your shoes? Could you really leave tracks throughout an entire house?

I don't think I could discern the color brown on someone's sweatshirt at that speed and at that wee hour.

Except who's she going to blame when a creepo takes off with her kid? Surely not herself.

I have lots of pens. Lots and lots and lots. But I will pick the newest one that has been awesome, the Pelikan Classic M205 Amethyst Demonstrator.

I have lots of pens. Lots and lots and lots. But I will pick the newest one that has been awesome, the Pelikan…

Oh, and one time he, like, framed a drop cloth and called it art or something.

I think I remember a room where Frank painted a whimsical pig on the wall. It was pretty hideous.

Yeah, he was the best. I actually tried watching Dear Genevieve (her HGTV show) on Netflix the other day but had to quit when she hung these ugly pitcher things made from recycled inner tubes on this poor couple's wall. Also, she cannot pronounce "accessories." She says "assessories."

And I can imagine it being good on a taco!

I confess that, on the rare occasions I eat at a pizza lunch buffet, I sometimes get some French dressing to dip my pizza in. Is this terribly weird? I blame that guy in college who exposed me to this deviant behavior!

I thought of them, as well!

Any time I hear anything from Ben Carson, I can't help but think of the portrayal of him in the Bad Lip Reading version of the GOP debate. It helps.

The first GM I worked with had quit, and it was the first week of our brand new GM (I will refer to him as “Charles”).

This was well-written, thoughtful, and lovely. Thank you!

Nom.