Still not worse than the Buffaslug

Hey! I’m not workshy. Or at least, not when I masturbate.

What I like about this post is that you’re successfully re-establishing your brand as one of the best Deadspin commenters to a whole new demographic of workshy masturbators.

Maybe next time they won’t hire Michael J. Fox as their graphic designer.

Variety of restaurants can’t possibly be allowed. Only the finest for our children so the Ttump organization has graciously cut prices to only $10 a child a day for the finest in Trump Brand imitation gruel (note - this contract was awarded on a sole source non-competitive bid process)

Not clear enough for an electorate who couldn’t see through Trump’s bullshit.*

I know he lost the popular vote. He shouldn’t have been within 100 billion votes of winning.

OK, hang on. I’m of Indian origin too. Two words: Narendra Modi. Are you kidding me? The guy incited bloody riots that actually resulted in deaths.

I’m sure there will classes about how African ‘workers’ came to America in the 1600s, how the lower classes should obey and remain subservient to their natural superiors, and lots and lots of Bible study. And Amway ads.

Honestly, nothing is gained from saying it’s a disqualifying position, because it’s literally not. The qualification to be appointed to that position are to be appointed by the President and confirmed by the Senate, the former of which has happened and the latter of which is fairly likely. No Republican is going to…

In partnership with the Department of Labor, all schoolchildren will have their choice of a wide array of menu items from Carl’s, Jr. and Hardee’s.

I always thought that the best defense against bears was a pickernick basket...

It’s right there in the Constitution:

Trump steaks for lunch!

Maybe she was referring to the unreported threat of large hairy gay men?

So why doesn’t he call her out on it? Fuck decorum and politeness. Look where that has gotten us. I would like to think I would be following up on that. “really lady? We need guns in schools to defend children from grizzly bears? This is honestly something you believe? And in believing that you think you are qualified…

The look of disgust on Senator Murphys face is magnificent.

Stephen Colbert is part of the liberal media’s anti-bear fear campaign. How often does the media talk about the number of lives bears save every day? Never, because they don’t want you to know the truth.

Lunch? What kind of communist shit is this? You get your parents to give you $10 every day and shop at one of our fine on-campus fast food restaurants.

The only way to stop a bad bear is with a good bear. Ban bear free zones!

There is a 0% chance this guy was rooting for Cam Newton.