hey, don’t kink-shame.

Actually, I’d find it equally-to-more-so funny if it was Peyton Manning doing this, especially if he did it in the Nationwide jingle:

They’re giving out practice squad trophies in Miami no wonder the team is bad at football they’ve been coddled and hugged and told they were special by their handlers and personal assistants in my day the only personal assistant a quarterback had was his conscience and if any scrub player picked him off in practice,…

It looks like Philbin was able to resolve that issue at practice. Tannehill looked a lot more comfortable getting intercepted during the game.

Enjoy your practice squad cars and your practice squad beds and your practice squad apartments. After I’m done doing throws here I’m going to step inside the mouth of a whale and the whale will take me to my luxury condo out near the edge of the continental shelf where mermaids will be my bed. Do you get it? I am…

Yeah, well the jerk store called...

A Rex Ryan-coached team showing poor discipline. I am shocked, shocked I tell you.

Clay Matthews uses “bro” unironically, because of course Clay Matthews does.

You used three sets of parentheses, but one period? You should not be in any school system.

Kelly: That tears it, I’m trading Murray to the Jaguars for a conditional 12th round pick.

“Fossilized mentor” is what Brett Favre calls his penis.

I would definitely hit it

And why does it take them longer, if ever, to turn over serial child predators?

Trying to sell the NFL to England and we send the Jets and Dolpins. That they haven’t firebombed the stadium has to be a victory.

A Quran.

He could have pulled out a yellow card, which would’ve been awful because Jesus hates soccer.

It’s becoming increasingly clear that men who make this kind of life-long commitment are basically unhinged. Oh, and he’s a priest too.

This isn’t even a crime in NJ if it’s an adult Cowboys fan.

Could have been worse, the priest could have pulled something else.

You know what, Closer we pretty ineffective as well. The one time it worked I ended up wishing it hadn’t.