The response to shootings and terrorism all always the same. Ban something used because that is why it happened.

I was just thinking about that this morning. The tone and style delta between Trump reading a prepared speech and him speaking off the cuff is massive. Especially when compared to the negligible deltas of an Obama or Clinton.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT WHY DO YOU KEEP REFUSING TO SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER

Considering how long it’s taking to get the ancient art of threading implemented, blocklists should arrive on Kinja August 2, 2056.

Pray… to the god… of ellipses…

American Crysturbater

Hefner may be gone, but the number of claimed firsties are through the roof!

I BID FIFTY QUATLOOS ON THE NOSTALGIA BOX

“We fixed up your kitchen, and hung drawings from our kids all over the place!”

My first thought for every Trump Tweet is “ZOMG, this delusional grandpa shouldn’t be allowed within 10 feet of a computer, let alone the reins of power for the United States of America.”

I mean, North Korea’s using it as an excuse to shoot our planes out of the sky, but hey… at least it’s not offensive. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“How does he keep up with the obituaries like that?”

I thought I was getting it for the improved cameras and screen. Shows what I know.

You can still get a clamshell phone. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That data — like the fingerprint data before — never leaves the phone and isn’t backed up anywhere.

…and now the theme to AirWolf will be playing in my head for the next three hours.

This was the first TV series I remember seeing that said “Fuck 4:3. We’re not framing this for the possibility that someone might someday watch it on a tube.” Big respect for that.

Hasbro owns the merchandising rights.

No, Todd. You’re cool.

Really? I thought that was an homage to classic sci-fi, like the green energy explosions in The Iron Giant. I’m surprised it wasn’t in there from the beginning.