If however you do fuck up and start panicking like I do usually, just burn the car down. There, no more need to restore anything.

That technique just sort of skips the middleman where I put it into the engine before it leaks all over the place. Probably prevents rust too.

I will have to give it some thought.

Don’t sleep in. As a matter of fact, I get up even earlier than when I usually do for work. Then your weekend doesn’t just seem longer, it is longer. Plus, don’t do the usual stuff on weekends, stuff like grocery shopping, cutting the grass, you know, chores. It’s so mundane and robot like. Go to stores (not grocery),…

We can only hope that someone has hacked (or will hack) them, and their properties, and every other part of this horribly fucked up family and we get a treasure trove of secrets and data dumps that will show the world how utterly shitty they are.

I doubt he even knew what the gift was until the Pope opened it.

Not so fast! A picture is worth a 1000 words.... so he might get through it in just a couple of dailly briefs.

His aides have explained his strange behavior as “exhaustion.”

What are you talking about? The people have always been against net neutrality, and we’ve always been at war with Eastasia.

That’s really great about us Americans donating so much to charity. And you’re certainly not wrong about freeloaders because they definitely suck, but those who sincerely need the help likely outweighs the freeloaders. You’re NEVER going to be able to avoid helping those who don’t deserve it without harming those who…

Know what will cost you a lot more than your insurance covering IUDs?

Child support.

Planned Parenthood videos

If you don’t want to use them, fine. Don’t. Just don’t force your religious horseshit onto the rest of us. I find it hilarious that someone who believes in vicarious redemption through human sacrifice also thinks killing a cluster of cells smaller than the head of a pin is murder. You disgust me.

As a government employee who is currently do the job that used to be done by four other employees, please go fuck yourself. Budget cuts and sequestration, plus the Trump hiring freeze have made my job unbearable. Since positions have been cut and unfilled, that means duties get absorbed by other employees. I work…

The Pheasants Fan Club would like to claim this ancestor, chickens are just to lazy to assume the position of actual ruling dinosaurs.

If there’s nuclear fallout around, giving up and committing suicide is the least-horrible option.

Drive toward the cloud. You don’t want to survive nuclear holocaust.

1 in 20 “false positive”? That why we convict so many innocent people?

I wish there was more commenting on articles like this. It’s kind of amusing though that when Giz writers drop some op-eds about climate change or various other things or, God forbid, Trump policy as it relates to U.S. education, STEM, and science in general, you have a cadre of neckbeards who flock in like “Hurr…

Since when do we have a right to fly on a specific plane?

Welp. I fucking lost my lunch.