I’m so excited - Bobby did Dirtbag on Deadspin and finally I got to contribute the one comment I know every Jezebel reader loves - “Who are these people?”

The end of the Oscar Award Winning, Martin Scorsese film, The Departed, features a shot of a rat on a ledge after a man is murdered by Marky Mark Wahlberg. The rat is (of course) a metaphor for Dan Rather, known ally to Whitey Bulger (the real-life gang star the film is based upon).

Yes Ron

When I was in college and didn’t know any better, I went on a date with some guy who took me Frisbee golfing. He kept insisting he wasn’t really that into it, that he just played with some guys from work, but then how come you have a travel case for all your Frisbees, which are sorted by ideal distance and trajectory?

And we are already off to a FLYING start.

Drew Magary-penned Dirt Bag, plz.

Oh yeah you are totally right. Nintendo is only responsible when things go great.

looks like Ben’s got competition.

THIMEROSAL HAS NEVER BEEN IN THE MMR.

Your child did not desend into autism. Stop it, seriously, your child is more than just a dx. To treat autism in such a way is degrading and wrong. Your child had autism from birth. That’s how autism works. Around the time children get their vaccinations is about the time they start missing milestones a hallmark of…

Oh fuck off.

“...descend into autism...”

I actually came up with the most offensive “who would you rather have sex with if you HAD to: Ted Cruz or Mitch McConnell”. There is no right answer other than “I’d rather just die”.

I hear what you’re saying, but beneath the success and beauty, your friend was still a kid. Sounds like she was dealing pretty well, but as a 15 year old, your first experience with romance and relationships should not be with someone a decade your senior. All the professional experience in the world doesn’t magically…

imagine even thinking about having sex with ted cruz

“You have value. You have worth. You are loved.”

The entire obituary is worth reading in full:

That implies she’s held against her will instead of the reality which is she’s made the deliberative choice to be who she is and where she is, none of which speak well for her character. Megyn Kelly cares deeply about problems that affect Megan Kelly and the cohort of rich, white women she sees herself in. She does…

“Wait, why isn’t my side supporting me anymore? Why won’t they believe me when the evid—ohhhhhhhh.”