Aw you are so nice! As a 26 years sober former Ms. Hyde, I’ll take the awesome :)

Absolutely would sign up for experimental nanite therapy that changes patches of skin into different cool colors!!

I always think vitiligo is beautiful. It looks so magical, like people who have it have been brushed here and there with invisible ink or negative space. I hope that isn’t a totally weird or fetishizing or plain dumb thing to say. I’m a portrait artist and that’s just what I think when I see it: magical. Like elves.

I did that schedule you describe, with a cafe during the day and a bakery during the night shift, for two weeks before I moved to California in ‘97. It was brutal.

Grilled cheese made with mayo is the business.

From now on I have completely forgotten his name- he’s just the “off-brand” one.

I think DSPS is very much a YMMV thing :) and I ‘m sorry that you have it AND can’t sleep with lights on, because it’s one more thing to add to the complexity of having it!

If you’re a creative night owl whose mind works best after midnight, why are you trying to fall asleep? You just got paid to write this article, right? Maybe you have DSPS, not insomnia, and maybe your life would be transformed if you didn’t have to get up in the morning. Yes, it means disability negotiations with…

oh God is that why I can’t sleep!?!? I’m usually SUCH a good sleeper within my natural schedule.

I sleep with the lights on too. I have DSPS, a circadian rhythm disorder (Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome), and it’s physically impossible for me to keep an 11 to 7 type “normal” sleep schedule. On my natural sleep cycle, 3am to 11am, I fall asleep instantly, sleep deeply for 8 hours and 20 minutes, and wake up without…

One of our cats, the fluffy dumb one, likes to get in my armpit and knead like that. Then I say to her, “Do you think I’m your mom-my? I’m not your mommy- I mean, I *am* your mommy, but I’m not your mom-my...” in a delirious singsong baby voice. Every night. I went to Stuyvesant High School, it should be noted.…

I also read jez from Germany and would love to have this feature, and the enjoyable Team Cat/Team Dog commentariat, daily.

Your thoughts sound like what my husband says to our cats out loud pretty much all the time.

I had one as my first b/c at 14, in 1981. You had to wait six hours after sex, so I sometimes had to pull it out and wash it and put it back in its case in the Stuyvesant bathroom. And yes, there was a leakage problem. Especially if you’d had sex multiple times and added additional spermicide after each act, as you…

I would bang Fiona Staples’ Jughead.

Her Jughead makes me swoon, in a Crispin Glover way. She’s an extraordinary talent.

Once in the 80s my mom told me this joke: “What’s the difference between cock and parsley? Nobody eats parsley!” I remembered it because I love parsley so much I always do eat the garnish, but rinse it off in my water glass first since I know the kitchen prolly didn’t.

Exactly! Vanilla is a delicate, complex floral flavor profile. Don’t tell me Crème brûlée is sophisticated and vanilla ice cream isn’t.

I am so very sorry that happened to you. Birthday cake choice is sacred to me, the time when respecting someone’s agency and personal taste is absolutely critical.

No, it’s from The Phantom Tollbooth! At least, that’s what I thought of the second I saw it.