Couldn’t he have just... looked at the trees? Trees are nice.

Sqirl helpfully pointed out in their Instagram explanation that adding little sugar “yields a more natural, fruit-forward product.”

The only way I am paying 9 bucks for toast and jam is if its served between a pair of good looking ass cheeks pretending to be the toaster.

I’m happier to pay for the omelette, though, because that requires a fair amount of skill to prepare. (Also, because at my spot, it comes with toast, potatoes, iced tea, and a side of sass from the server.) I totally get *why* an upscale toast can cost $9, especially avocado toast (avocado hand is not a joke, Jim!),…

I’m guessing that using less sugar is also part of why the mold is growing on the jam. I’ve heard that jam that uses less sugar is more perishable and should be refrigerated even if it hasn’t been opened. 

Oh, definitely, I was just doing a lazy back-of-the-envelope thing. I guess the point could also be that, with a pretty minimal effort on an individual’s part, they could save $7.60 per toast by just making it themselves. I’m sure the professional toast (one without the mold) is better, but is it that much better?

I don’t disagree with the fact that $9 for jelly toast is ridic, but your calculation doesn’t include the rent, labor, or insurance costs, though I have no idea what to even break those down to per toast.

Making canning in season fruit to squirrel away for later when it is no longer in season.

When MommyFatale was still with us, she and I made jam all through the summer as fruits ripened. It was fun, easy, delicious, and my GOD were those jars of jam beautiful. She used to say they looked like jewels, and she was right. Make your own jam, call it artisanal if you must. Even the best store-bought preserves…

maybe I’m getting too middle class for my own good but I always find the

24 slices in a loaf of bread. You can get a loaf of brioche for about $4. You can get 48 oz of pretty good ricotta for $5. You can get two pints of raspberries for $10-$16. You can get 4 lbs of sugar for like $9. So, 4+5+16+9=34, divided by 24, about $1.40 per toast. I’m sure they’re at least pretending to use fancier…

Hell, I’m extremely allergic to mold. I’m picturing myself going there, doing my best to avoid allergens as I do at every restaurant, and then wondering why I’m having severe allergy and asthma symptoms for the rest of the day.

I read that they were storing the jam improperly which contributed to the mold. They put the jam in tall plastic tubs (cambros) instead of shallow hotel pans in an ice bath as they should have. The plastic retains the heat and prevents the product from cooling and creates a perfect lil home for mold to grow. That much…

And also run the risk of giving customers botulism! Let’s not forget that component of this fuckery. 

I’m not a food inspector, but I have worked in several restaurants in my life.

The kindest explanation for the moldy jam is that they were trying to make low-sugar jams and not paying attention to the fact that sugar is a preservative, and without a significant portion of sugar, jam goes bad a lot faster than one might otherwise expect.

I think that’s a good one. I saw a tweet that apparently someone trademarked a ton of potential names. Don’t know if that’s on there.

If it were me, they’d go with Washington Dragons. Cool mascot, works well with the red and gold. 

They’re one of the few NFL teams with a legitimately good color scheme, so I doubt they change that.

The Washington Werewolves idea is growing on me.