Word. I would take the first two weeks of baby over the last two weeks of pregnancy any day of the week. And those first two weeks ain't no picnic either.

Truth. The last month is horrible. I didn't mind being pregnant until the ninth month and then all of a sudden it was THE WORST and NOTHING WILL EVER BE OKAY and I WILL NEVER HAVE THIS BABY. I always wondered why pregnant women got so dramatic when their due date passed, but the idea of two more weeks of that hell is…

I recently lost a family member to cancer, and in the months before his death, well meaning hippie type friends repeatedly told him that essential oils and detox could "cure his cancer". Worse, one egregious idiot suggested that "not detoxing enough" was possibly why he got cancer in the first place. She then offered…

Ha, I have the same family. The types who blame feminazis for the breakdown of society, who are staunchly anti-abortion but pro-death penalty, and who think Obummer is trying to take all their guns and bibles and jobs and give them to his Muslim buddies.

I might have a Thanksgiving horror on my hands right now. We'll see. My frantic conversation with the nice person who answered my call at Whole Foods this morning: "Hi! I bought a pre roasted turkey? For Thanksgiving? And it's, like, frozen. It's not supposed to be frozen?" *With elaborate patience* "It isn't…

If it was a cultural norm to poke customers in the eyeballs, it wouldn't make it any less of a dick move.

Poor Unfortunate Souls is my go-to extremely drunk and at the computer song. It's so good...

Can we all agree that that "tangy zip of Miracle Whip" is not mayo, is vile and has actually caused me irreperable harm?

Shade Court is the single greatest regular feature of Jez: the Next Generation.

Seconded. I miss Regretsy.

I always wanted her to die more that the Dark Lord.

I love story #4 so much that I want to hug it.

Great stories today, thank you Pinkham!

I've been lurking and reading BCO for weeks now, and I must say you're doing the Lord's work with this series, Pinkham.

Should have bought a Rody, fucko!

I am unashamed at how much I love Ancient Aliens and Tsoukalos. I LOVE THEM AND YOU CANNOT CHANGE IT.

I expensed the tickets!

So many things to tell..I will try to sum it up but it is going to get long and weird.