in 10 years, if ESPN is still around, the 30 for 30 on how this family is dead broke and all of Lonzo’s money is gone, and the impending lawsuit he files against his father, will probably be something I have on in the background as I wash the living room floor.

All the Brothers Ball were then standing in the lobby of a lavish, if anachronistic, hotel. And LaVar stood before them and bowed, hat in hand. The reverberating blare of unidentifiable noise that moments ago threatened to deafen them, vanished. The silence was immediate, dense, thick. “This place,” he said, “doesn’t…

Levar Ball has accomplished the rare task of making both the NCAA, and Mcculey Culkin’s father, look like models of good judgement.

I’m genuinely sad how much this has fucked over LaMelo’s future. Lonzo is making pro money, and at least Liangelo has a high school diploma and could pretty easily go back to school at some point. But LaMelo has no diploma, a minuscule chance at a pro career, and not much else.

NOTORIOUS RBG

Roy Moore accuser Tina Johnson’s home burned down on Tuesday. An arson investigation is underway.

Senate Judiciary Committee chairman Chuck Grassley and senior member Lindsey Graham, both Republicans, have bravely made a criminal referral in the Russia investigation—not against anyone involved in potential collusion—but against former British spy Christopher Steele, who gave us the gift of the alleged “pee tape”…

I don’t think you’d get stuck there. In New Zealand, my husband’s passport got ripped and the airport officials were like “we could keep him here ... fuck it, send him to LA and let the Americans deal with it.” More likely, you’d be stuck in your home airport (which may be better or worse, depending).

You’re no more “stuck” there because your passport expired than you are if it gets lost/stolen and you have to go to the consulate or embassy and get a new one. So, really not stuck at all. And anywhere from 3-6 months is excessive. Like, I could reasonably see two weeks, maybe a month. But you’re telling me that…

I will go into a Lewis Black diatribe for you:

I’m waiting to hear their plan for the crusty jugglers.

Insert clip from The Princess Bride: Clear out the thieves’ forest!

You’ve got my attention. I’ll pour a healthy tumbler of bourbon, turn off my brain, and enjoy the absurd.

Tonight, on SyFy: SHARKBERG VS TITANIC!

No, fuck people accusing you of being pedantic. I’m with you. If you’re writing for a publication of any kind, you should know when to use “an”, and use it when necessary.

That implies a level fo forethought and planning on his part that doubt he has.

They each think they’re the top but they’re both actually humping pillows.

Ok this is super rude to vaginas

“They’re some bad people,” he said. “Bad people. But that’s ok. Someday maybe they’ll love us. I don’t know.”

I’m really really hoping that when she’s older and can put that family in the rear view mirror, she writes a fantastic tell-all about her time as First Lady and confirms everything we know to be true about their marriage.