In case you see any of the undeserving poor, you can pass this along to them.

“Better a hundred innocents suffer than one freeloader get a free lunch.”

God forbid we just feed students lunch without interrogating their parents financial situation. Gotta make sure the freeloaders aren’t gaming the system for canned green beans and wiener wraps.

My excuse is that it is delicious and awful and I hate myself.

Pennsylvania drivers (at least Pittsburgh ones) are batshit fucking insane. These people terrify me, and I grew up in DC.

The Knockout Game is not real, and that is in no way what that was. All the other kids were confused as shit when it happened.

That name still isn’t as bad as this one. And yes, she is a citizen of Florida.

• “Well, it’s been a not-so-quiet week in Lake Wobegon, Minnesota, my hometown, out there on the edge of the prairie.”

You better start stalking me then. I lived through 4 fucking years of that godawful state, and I’m not about to temper my distaste for the place where I nearly died at least four times that I can name off the top of my head. Whether it be by heat exhaustion, too many guns in schools, or good ol’ fashioned bad drivers,…

I’m posting this every time someone mocks Florida. Be warned. You might want to take 31_Footsteps back. :)

So, story time: I was actually once randomly assaulted on the subway for no goddamn reason. I was on my way home from work, wearing a hoodie and listening to music with my head down. I was interacting with and bothering absolutely no one. This group of middle school kids on their way home from school got on as I was…

I noticed the other day and watched two episodes waiting for my daughter’s school bus to arrive. My daughter did not deign to watch it. SHE WILL ACKNOWLEDGE BILL NYE AS A POSITIVE PRESENCE IN HER LIFE, SO HELP ME.

RELATED:

Bill Nye saying “that just doesn’t make fucking sense” must be a new meme. BEHOLD:

I once attended a wedding that united an East Coast bride (my friend) and a West Coast groom. The L.A. folks would start talking about astrology and auras and I would think they were being satirical and I would realize they were seriously talking about auras and the zodiac. I could actually feel my face frantically…

I am not ashamed to say that I am more attached to Bill Bye thn I am a large part of my extended family. He represented a chill science class and was the first adult I could consider ‘Cool’. He has never let me down. Okay. I will go get help meow.

If nothing else, this bit gave us an amazing gif of Bill Nye saying “That just makes no fucking sense.”

I grew up in LA. I can't begin to tell you how many people (white women, mostly, but some WOC too,) that used to espouse that shit. Drove me nuts. Dude. I don't think the universe gives a shit about... anything, really. But really not whether you consume dairy or soy.

I am not white, but I think the universe is telling me I should be white

Bill Nye was a key figure in my childhood science education.