When I take Ambien my id takes over my phone and starts texting. Sometimes I end up with my almost ex husband in my bed. I should really look into pudding instead.

Make friends with someone in the USAF! I’ve got lots of friends and family in air force and this is the coolest thing ever!

I thought it was the inverse of a yoni.

Do air force bases still let you go into planes as a civilian? I suspect not since 2001 but holy shit it is awesome af! Fwiw I’m terrified of flying but the cockpit of a huge military plane? Or like the refuel boom in the in air refueling station planes? Soooooo neat!

That’s easy! Tell Bill B that you’re from Cleveland and still passionately hate him. He’ll probably curl up guffawing in laughter.

It could support the weight but youd be tired, have joint pain, etc etc. So yeah...technically possible but really not advisable as you stated.

How did he lose the 5kg of gravel in his throat tho?

But holy shit in The Machinist he looks like a meth warning poster.

This is super smart imho. All of it. This wedding dress lending library and your fancy but affordable and rewearable custom gown.

So the super short engagement thing is a Jewish custom? Why didn’t anyone tell this Christian girl that?

That’s pretty common. I drink makers and soda. Rarely do I have to pay for a drink at a bar. Even when I wore my wedding rings.

Hey thanks! I feel we need to ascribe more things to said loosely affiliated yet nefarious organizations.

They’re both beautiful and blonde. It’s not hard to find either woman attractive.

Jim Gaffigan is hilarious tho. But I feel ya on taking after the male giants in the family. And being denied mom’s svelte figure. At least I got dad’s empathy and kindness traits so everything isn’t horrible.

They pay you when they die! Lolololol

I did it at one job but both bathrooms were one seaters. So really it was just about which gender had pooper less soon or cleaned the bathroom more recently.

I know someone exactly like this. My crappy sibling. We must split the difference on giving a flying fuck about birthdays. I’m happy if my closest friends remember and call or text.

Honestly effective masturbation is the best defense against teen pregnancy and stds imho.

Conspiracy theory: the porn as instructions idea is perpetuated by a shadowy cabal of chiropractors throughout the world.

How about the fact that most male actors in het porn are far less attractive than female costars which perpetuates the idea that men deserve to be awarded attractive women. And in great quantity