It sounds like an ad for adult companionship in Nevada or the Netherlands. But I got in F in Forced Femininity so I’m not a great source.

It doesn’t. A wedding requires a marriage license, an officiant, a witness or 2 and two not currently married adult humans.

Mimosas were the only traditional thing I required on my wedding day. Priorities!

This is overpriced speak for centerpieces and tablecloths and place setting. I think.

Lol I still have unopened and unused wedding invitations in my office. I am seriously considering using them for divorce party. I will be drowning my last available fuck given in premium bourbon.

Oh yeah we have housed an unreasonable number of Nazis, presidents and astronauts. And serial killers. Seriously weird mix.

Mixed race dog named for Mrs. Hitler. I give you +1 for irony and your Nazi bitch.

Did the panties exhibit antisemitism and murderous homophobia, or am I getting confirmation that panties is a Nazi word?

I feel like this is the beginning of some fucked up sci fi where someone tries to clone Hitler from his probable DNA on those. Or maybe I need to put the internet down a while...

His eyes say, “please point me in the direction of the nearest methadone clinic or needle exchange.”

No but your stomach will hate you if you do this often. Same with kidneys.

Honestly I am ok with someone who wishes I would have a timely accident holding my POA atm. The people who actually love me would keep me on a vent forever instead of using me for spare parts and donating my body to science as I would want.

A guy followed me to my car and asked me on a date the other day. The fact that I’m fucking married was not a deterrent. To. My. Car. Married. Zero interest in anyone atm. Not flirting. To. My. Car.

I’d remarry my ex if it meant avoiding a date with that guy. And literally no one wants that.

WHAT the FUCK is wrong with some people? Did he gift you some toenail clippings? Perhaps his shriveled foreskin? Maybe a severed finger?

And hospice nurses aren’t plumbers. The plumbers get paid more. And are union. Plumbers get more overflowing toilets but let human suffering. Also hospice doesn’t charge 3x their normal rate if you need them at 2 a.m. xmas morning.

This was one horrifically beautiful piece of writing sir. I’m weeping for your bowels yet intrigued.

These men need to be forced to read the Cracked.com about the dude with wankus cancer having to get his precious meat lobbed off.

Thank you for the tips!

Lawyers speak parseltongue and that’s really the best I can do for you rn.