This is why I only send headless nudes, with any identifying jewelry or tattoos covered. Plausible nekkid selfie deniability.

“The Ecstasy of Gold,” from the big graveyard showdown at the end of “The Good The Bad and the Ugly.”

“Come on, you’re the only guy I can fuck and not get accused of infidelity. And my vibrator is charging.”

Ita re: birthdays, kitty friends. At my age, only pathetic people obsess over their birthdays unless it’s a milestone.

I feel like you missed an opportunity to use supernumerary mammaries.

There are a number of factors that contribute to type 2 diabetes. I’ve known people who were within their recommended weight range who have developed DMII also.

To me, it looks like T minus 3 seconds till the pup attacks the camera like it was filled with bacon and joy. But I might be projecting.

The only attention grabbing snake at my wedding was my mother! *rimshot*

Dachshunds are rarely pleased ime. They are much too busy trying to bark their tiny heads off and pick fights with wildlife many times their size.

Please tell me that mama was the Rottweiler because my uterus aches in empathy the other way.

Thanks for making me feel better about not having bought a traditional gown when I got married.

Yeah, they’re fluroquinalones. I’m very sorry that happened to you, either way. I got hospitalized twice for ibuprofen and naproxen, which you may recognize as pain reliever meds a 6 year old could buy at a grocery store. Thanks to a career where taking a bunch of narcotics is frowned on, I had to find some way to…

Was it Ciprofloxacin? Also called Cipro? And if so was it for a respiratory or bladder infection? Because if you’re allergic to sulfa and penicillin antibiotics, they may not have had any other choice.

The doctor may not read or they may not know. You have to list drugs you’re intolerant to in your records. In my records under drug allergies is NSAIDs. Specific reason listed as “GI intolerance “ which in this case means that Motrin won’t kill me but it will engulf my belly in flames of gastritis and make me want to…

Or just “I cannot eat whole peppercorn” if perhaps you don’t want to talk about your bowels. I’m a nurse so I’m always talking to so someone about their poop problems but I have learned via extensive trial and error, that not everyone is as chill with poop problems at the dinner table.

So nutella is totally fine, right?

What is it with people and their onion fetish? Are some people unhappy if everyone around them lacks onion breath?

You’re the dadest dad who ever dad joked. Bravo, you magnificent bastard!

There are a lot of “dinning room tabels” available on CL in my general region. I’ll give you one typo but this gets serious side eye.

Eh. I’d prefer not to.