Well, he made one change: loosened rules of engagement to allow for much greater civilian casualties.

He even got a tattoo—“Dance or Die” in Arabic

Great job, pun nut.

I’m going to start spreading germs all over kids with AIDS just so no one accuses me of being racist.

I AM NUTRAGED OVER HER GLOVES!!!!

So wearing gloves could have been FOR protecting the children!!

Ibn means son, so that’s pretty weird. I think you mean Badr al-Badoor (Badroulbadour).

I say we let Emma Stone play Aladdin.

Good luck convincing the Iranians of that.

The current American powers that be would probably feel flattered by that comparison. Middle East-style tyranny seems to be their goal for the US.

I hear that “bears” “crunching” people’s “heads” is part of THE GAY AGENDA.

And as always, Assad defines it as “you cease; I fire”:

He’s talking about the latest farcical “ceasefire” in Syria, which Assad violated almost immediately just as he always does. There were at least six violations in less than an hour and a half in three different areas. Not much to boast about, in other words, but of course Trump never has any idea what he’s talking…

Trump cultists on Twitter are responding to this news with exactly that, along with “FAKE NEWS.” They are truly some of the dumbest, most dishonest motherfuckers alive.

They’re going to be proud parents to a beautiful baby Prince.

Yo mama’s so fat that when she offers to take her clothes off, dog trainers tell her they’ll defend her if she keeps them on instead.

That’s where I keep most of mine.

Now, see, I saw comments on this story elsewhere blaming the shooting on black people. I can hardly wait to find out which assumption is right, as race is definitely the thing we should focus on here.

Tamir’s shooting was indefensible (and both cops should have paid for it, frankly, not just the one who pulled the trigger), but just so you know, “open carry” generally doesn’t mean one may carry a weapon in hand, just that it can be openly displayed on one’s person—e.g., in a holster.