LOL Wheelchair Jimmy

I’m fat. I have never broken a bone, despite once falling down a hatch in the USS Hornet. We bounce, yo.

Aaaaaand I’m bringing this out of the greys because it is so impeccably out of place.

Every race has attractive women who want nothing to do with you.

Get an instant read thermometer and then just look up a recipe. If you cook it to the right temperature, you wont kill anyone or serve them dry crumbly meat

No denial!

I hit submit too fast, and now the edit Gods are punishing me for some reason.

David’s girlfriend, right here.

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I try not to fart in front of the fiance if I can help it. But if I’m in bed, or if I’m mad at her, or if I’m really sure that it’s going to be a long extended loud fart that will be hilarious, or if we’re leaving an elevator when other people are rushing in, or if I think I can blame it on the dog, or if we’re in a…

The possibility of Price standing up for Rodriguez was floated around the time this first happened, and beyond Price just being a sensitive ninny it may be that he views himself as a team leader (because of his huge contract perhaps?) and saw an opportunity to win approval from his teammates (note the “Many players…

The Price is wrong, bitch!!

This is what drives me nuts. WW2 was a true world war and one that succeeded by not 1 country alone but by many brothers in arms for all different countries fighting with each other as one. If you talked to those that fought during that time, they wouldn’t be taking credit but thanking the help of their allies. My…

That’s why I blatently stare. Both at guys and gals. Averting your gaze is overrated and so are restraining orders.

You’re a typo.

Ham,

Missing Mrs., Ole Miss Mister Misdials Madam Of Misses

Yes, but he never accused himself of doing so.

We need more Jim Sinegal’s in the world:

Kids today, smh. I realize this might not get you a lot of ‘likes’ on social media but when I was younger we’d record ourselves doing ‘drive-by fundamentals challenges’ on people’s driveways. Can you execute a sound chest pass? Can you correctly switch on D? Can you box out for a rebound? And then we’d take the VHS…