I enjoy not fumbling with a wire beneath my winter coat while I try to check my phone.

Seriously. I’m pretty sure that’s how Bill Gates got his start.

Well t(-.-t) that all makes sense now. Without the illustration, I had NO idea what you were talking about.

In general, when they ask me to do this I start screaming “Oh god oh god oh god we’re all going to die!” at the top of my lungs. It’s funny as all hell.

In general, when they ask me to do this I start screaming “Oh god oh god oh god we’re all going to die!” at the top of my lungs. It’s funny as all hell.

Does your entire career consist of re-writing articles from other publications as single paragraphs? Do you get paid for this?

You tell me.

Most of the world eats horse meat.

That’s some pretty solid stereotyping there, Herr Trump.

The overratednesss of Bill Maher never ceases to amaze me really—it’s been that way for a long time. He’s not really *funny* and he’s not really *smart* he just hides behind a façade of sarcasm and a snear.

The overratednesss of Bill Maher never ceases to amaze me really—it’s been that way for a long time. He’s not really *funny* and he’s not really *smart* he just hides behind a façade of sarcasm and a snear.

You take that back.

There was that time my friends and I killed a man in Denver. He was homeless, but still.

If by “racist boycott” you mean “my face buried between her thighs” then yes! Yes!

Yeah! It’s a good thing they’re not worried about, you know, safety because it means they get to use matching buckles!

Yawn. A bunch of fat dudes sitting around on a couch and suddenly its news. Really?

I get a little tired of the LGBTQ community defining everything in relation to being LGBTQ. Bert & Ernie aren’t gay. They’re T(-.-T) MUPPETS. It’s not as if there are other Muppet couples banging away on screen. THEY’RE NOT GAY THEY’RE MUPPETS

Long Trenchcoat, Sunglasses, Paper Bag with a micky of Vodka

Wait, what? Batman was a heir to wealthy parents who were murdered? WTF io9??? That deserves a spoiler warning.

Not George. He’s pretty much crap according to everyone.