This is the news I needed to pull me out of my shitty mood.

I originally read this as “she’s a mastermind at squints” and thought...yup.

Seriously. It’s now public knowledge that when she was four months postpartum and caring for their infant son, he was off chasing porn stars around the bed in his tighty whities like a fucking Benny Hill sketch - and she’s still with him, sporting the same tight, mirthless smile she’s had since the beginning.

Jezebelles, please don’t respond to the trolls.

obvious, but necessary:

I was thiiiis close to saying I hope he has sons if that’s how he’ll treat his daughters. But then realized if he has sons he’ll raise them to treat women like that. So I hope he’s fucking shooting blanks.

The students should just dump their garbage there until they get the message. Holy crap, putting a plaque up to memorialize this total miscarrage of justice makes me want to vomit.

My bet: By next fall’s rush-week pledges will have to take selfies with a drunk girl at the plaque as part of their initiation into the fine, upstanding, educationally-supportive, ant not at all destructively misogynistic Greek system.

Come on now. He can’t even enjoy eating a steak any more.

How about we get hundreds of these printed as signs to decorate that bullshit garden?

May the student population of Stanford vandalize that shit daily with the quotes Doe herself wished to be presented.

Stanford alumni can withold donations for this and tell the creeps why.

Snakes are actually good at fixing dinner.

“I want to come home to a home cooked dinner every night at six,” Sykes said, referring to demands he makes of his girlfriend

“career obsessed banshees who forgo home life and children and the happiness of family to become nail-biting manophobic hell-bent feminist she devils who shriek from the top of a thousand tall buildings”

And ya know...if his gf WANTS to do this, then I guess it is her right. If that’s how she gets kinky, then whatever. But to insist his daughters should behave that way is abhorant. If it was their choice, so be it, but if not, it’s inconcevable to me that a father would risk the safety and welfare of his daughters…

Correct response:

I like how one Twitter user put it: “Courtland Sykes is what happens when you let Jesus take the wheel and he crashes into a truck full of Axe body spray.”

*badabing*

I absolutely loooove “nasty snake-filled heads” on the “hell-bent feminist she-devils”— think Samantha Bee’s site will start selling that on a t-shirt?…

So does his girlfriend come over to his house to fix him dinner? Because if she lives there already and he hasn’t made an honest woman out of her by putting a ring on it, it sounds an awful lot like they are LIVING IN SIN.

Where do I apply for my ability to turn men to stone with direct eye-contact to go with my head full of snakes?