I once had a dynasty family in sims 2 whom I loved. I played them clean (no motherlode) and worked them hard so they amassed a sizable fortune for 4 generations then in the fifth generation a brother and sister were born and no matter what I tried aside from turning off the free will seemed to make them better sims.…

“He’s going the distance” = He (Lucifer) is spreading evil through society via food networks cupcake wars.

Faith based interior decorating? It’s not as modern or tasteful since they exclude the gays but the odds are better that your house will someday go to heaven.

I was honestly thinking before I read the article that he was talking about an entry level position working the deep fryer.

Cake is the food of the Devil! Check your grocery store shelves for the truth! No more satan promoted overrated carbohydrates! Turn to the side of good! Turn to Pie!

Wait. They’re not supposed to be sentient? I got a Stratocaster that just sleeps on my couch all day, plays all night, and only consumes peppers and milk “because that’s what Bowie did!”  

Maybe it was the ghost of El Duce on a phantom train and for some reason on that train is Robert Johnson and a bunch of hellhounds. Then Richie Valens, The Big Bopper, and Buddy Holly’s ghost plane starts bombing the Escalade and then Keith Moon was standing in the middle of the tracks and with the help of Jimi…

I did not like Martha at all before she did time. I like her a lot more now, once I read that she came to her first post prison interview dressed in orange. C’mon! That’s hilarious! Also she has some great recipes, like Ina’s but without all the ingredients I can’t possibly afford.

Fred and Dan had a great dynamic.

True, the show would not work without the afgan.

What kind of porn is she watching? I’m thinking maybe like a rule 34 thing? Gun sex porn? Or is porn just a convienent scapegoat? Hmmm... Let’s see... is porn the root of all evil?

Shouldn’t those T’s be gold?

Dan and Jackie were ALWAYS the best characters on the show

Her software must have crashed and she just keeps repeating “I was making coffee.” Over and over.

Do we have the fucking rank to ask that? I know I don’t have the fucking rank, I’m nowhere near clear...

My parents are nice, and my brother’s a good guy.

That would be as easy as loving action movies but refusing to watch anything with Danny Trejo.

Upgrading the software to Stepford X. It comes with even more documents written by Michelle Obama!

She is on a top secret mission, she has a promising lead from a confidential source. She will finally find Moose and Squirrel!

Bob Ross clone for the head of the EPA.