This just reminds me of the Halloween I got kicked out of the Assisted Living Center because dressing as the Grim Reaper was “inappropriate” and “wrong” and “27 is too old to go trick or treating”

Well, there were two paths she could go by... But in the long run there’s still time to change the road she’s on.

Hey did anybody see how the Lardass in Chief was saying he would totally run into a school that was being shot up? Bwahahahahaha!

I plan on watching The Vicar of Dibley tonight in memory of dear Emma Chambers.

Dear Satan,

Do people even wonder about that anymore? I know it’s not a sure thing but the odds are always in the R’s favor in these situations.

Well at least by 19 you know you shouldn’t light your farts on fire in Justin’s dorm room. I mean you know you shouldn’t but a lost bet is still a lost bet and it’s not Luke you’re going to do it out on the patio where Angelica might see you, so... Ya know, what are you gonna do?

Damn, now I have something in common with Trump.

“It’s just cold feet!”

“It’s just cold feet!”

“It’s just cold feet!”

“He broke my heart like a taillight/now he’s rolling away from me/ down the dusty highways of my broken dreams tonight”

So we should send them some big boxes to play in and a whole bunch of yarn fluff? Because I would be down with that.

That is a valid point.

Oh yeah I know that feeling, for me Careless Whisper starts playing and everything slows down just a little bit.

Wings are great and all, but, if you want the key to my heart give me a churro bouquet.

FAKE NEWS! HE’S NOT ON A TOILET WITH A PHONE IN HIS HAND! This is clearly a portrait of Doug Macenhiemer Winslofovich of Tacoma who works as a part time line cook at Denny’s and is a hobbiest taxidermist. He’s won several awards for his whimsical work with squirrels.

Why my dear sir! The mere mention of your cummerbund is positively giving me the vapors! Fetch me the smelling salts!

It’s so comforting to know that while my family may be total white trash the Palin’s are always there to make us look like well mannered aristocracy.

Just thinking about how in two to four years when she is free to begin attending social gatherings again you’ll begin to court the shit out of her. Maybe see a flash of her petticoat.