Oh man I love that place! I always get laid and I love their selection of storage bins

“Get out of there now! The evangelical misogyny is coming from inside the house!”

So we should lock him up in an attic in Key West?

An uncrustable and a banana.

I’m not sure if tweeting from bed rather than the toilet is better or worse for the day when he inevitability declares war accidentally (again)

Okay so now because of you I have a vision of a hotel hallway with Trump in blinding white underpants chasing a porn star, who in turn is chasing a bellhop, who is in turn chasing a jack rabbit for some reason. Then the manager comes in and starts chasing Trump with a table cloth to cover him and now the jack rabbit…

Yup, gotta salt and burn it.

Growing up we lived in a house built in 1880 that was entirely wood shake. Mamanova was terrified that the place would burn down so now the phrase “something smells hot!” is permanently seared into my auditory memory. The place did burn down eventually, a year after we moved out when the woman who rented it after us…

I did not get a flu shot and I got the flu. I was sick in bed, unable to stand for more than two or three minutes for five days. I’ve spent the last six days ranging somewhere between feeling not bad and wishing someone would put me down like a lame horse. I now know what Captain Tripps feels like.   

Tina Belcher already has the manuscript done.

Yarn erotica.

He went to Cloud City Upstairs Medical College!

You are embodiment of everything I love about the Jez community, everybody supports everybody else. Thanks Cat for your generosity,  but there’s no need. My Dad found out I was running low and gave me $40.

I wish I had $25. I’m out of milk and eggs.

And you know they elevate his heart rate

Bet he wiped with the mag that featured Eric and NotIvanka on the cover.

11th commandment: Thou shalt not sing the songs of Spinal Tap in vain.

Look, I know I’ve been away a lot due to my work schedule but can we please have a week at Jez where this picture doesn’t make an appearance? It’s just so... Panty line, booty shorts. back fat, no upper body strength, turkey necked with what is likely a sex face adjacent expression. Please just one week without this…

Look, I know I’ve been away a lot due to my work schedule but can we please have a week at Jez where this picture doesn’t make an appearance? It’s just so... Panty line, booty shorts. back fat, no upper body strength, turkey necked with what is likely a sex face adjacent expression. Please just one week without this…

It has been scientifically proven that the more adorable a critter is the better it tastes.