I was thinking that just the other day! How weird! I started think that he hasn’t because he doesn’t know how it’s spelled so he can’t tweet it.

I’d probably just take it as an ill omen get the whole damn thing annulled change my name and become a homesteading hermit somewhere. Once your life has been tainted like that there’s just no getting rid of the black cloud hovering above you.

I’m actually okay with this, my reason being that it will be a lot easier to scrub him from history if he doesn’t leave a greasy aquavelva scented stain in the oval office. I worry it would just seep into the walls, the floors, the furniture, the very foundation.

Oh c’mon Joker! He just sold some human beings into a short and painful life filled with horrors beyond our comprehension it’s not like he got caught with a half ounce of weed or stole his mom’s TV and sold it for meth or anything! Lets be reasonable here!

Goddamn, that’s a good punchline.

Capo #1 “The boss wants us to whack this guy, says he has it coming.”

Yeah it is surprisingly loud. Legend says that you can hear a vagina slaming shut up to a mile away when the wind is right. Of course that’s probably an old wives tale.

Anybody else just feel their vagina slam shut?

I didn’t say people would be here to read them but I know this little rock will keep on spinning. Don’t be so negative though, after all the dolphins haven’t left yet.

I plan on being one of those nomads who memorizes books from Fahrenheit 451.  

Kleptoabsurdity

I kinda wish Sharknados were real, that would tie this whole thing together don’t you think.

God, the history textbooks 60 years from now are going to be so weird.

She would have shot all the college graduates in the Benghazi because emails.  

That face says “I have Mother in the basement freezer so I can see her pretty face every day.”

*sigh* Compared to the Twin Freakazoids Ol’ W is a total rockin’ hottie.

“I mean it can’t be my kid! My kid wouldn’t have been in intensive care like some pussy bleeding heart liberal cuck pansyass! My kid would be so straight and masculine he’d make me look like a limp dick!”

^ This seems like an accurate description.  

That baby needs to get out of the NICU, pull himself up by his bootstraps and get a goddamn job! #nofreeloadingbabies

They didn’t see The Dark Knight and when Chip gave them a synopsis they thought the mob was totally able to control The Joker and forced Batman to leave Gotham forever and ever.