Especially since it’s taking that big ass fish back to the water to brag and show off to the whole bunch of others. Cold blooded.

Look at that Gator just fucking strutting along like, “Check this out, assholes. This is my fish. You got a fish like this? Didn’t fucking think so.”

If it is fight or flight the penguins have only one option...

This wouldn’t be the first time Beasley’s knee ended up in the completely wrong place.

I don’t have sex with Kate Upton or Justin Verlander. And, yes, it is because I am superstitious.

Ok, but what about a BJ, Upton?

Me, too. I find I’m a better all-around performer when I don’t have sex with Kate Upton.

Just curious - why didn’t Dave McKenna get this story? Seems like it’d be right in his wheelhouse...

“Pardon me?”

Is this the movie poster for Rocky IV Loko?

His name is Jason Pierre Paw.

“Nice” -Rob Gronkowski

Like most versions, this one’s gonna have incest.

Your waist?

“The best way I can describe it is, having a diaper on & never changing it. And just sitting in that diaper the whole year.”

Listen, if they wanted to know specifics about how things were run the person they should be talking to is the Specific Manager.

He deals with the goddamn press so the owners don’t have to!

“I was like, good gracious, ass is bodacious”

Tom Ley covers bears, Hamilton Nolan covers communism, Samer covers New England/pro wrestling/beating up teenagers, Margary covers out of the ordinary shits people have taken, Diana covers people getting raped/beaten.

Ball control is so important in games like this.