He’s going to get plunked in batting practice tomorrow.

A plastic bag of styrofoam cups is also Alex Smith’s new tibia.

Once again, a soccer story that ends with no scoring.

That’s OK. It happens to a lot of bull semen factories. 

If you’re going to make a joke about this it has to be funnier. I don’t make the rules

Gravity finally gets its sweet revenge on Newton. 

“How am I supposed to explain two women holding hands to my triathlete children?”

I think a “chunkier Reese Witherspoon” is called a Reese’s Witherspoon.

I must have been on the cusp of a cycle or a no-hitter during my entire baseball career as a kid because none of my teammates ever spoke to me.

I come here every day to read funny and insightful comments, so I guess we’re both pretty disappointed.

Truman, you can Carter off to jail, but Grant me this: If you just Fillmore prison cells, it won’t solve anything. It would be-Hoover to reform her ways, so we should Taylor the punishment to the crime.

“Do you want me to come down fast or slow?”

Our government isn’t dumb, people. I’m sure they’ve moved the aliens to Area 52 by now.

Twas a bad day to be orange. 

“She’s unhinging her jaw!”

or your co-worker is Liz Lemon.

So, I don’t know what would qualify a person as an expert, but I did go to grad school for acting and spent 4+ years in voice and speech classes. So my ear may not be “expert,” but it is trained, and to my ear, yes, Mikey sounds a hell of a lot like Kyrie. And yes, the low bitrate of a phonecall will strip most of the…

H/t Mike

“Mikey” is also an anagram of “Kymie”, which is almost certainly how Kyrie refers to himself. This is totally Kyrie.

Nice