He tried to steal shaving gear. They didn’t press charges, but Belk did want their Razorback.

Where did you grow up? Because around these parts, we just called that a Number Two.

Why’d the whole family blame Kevin for the spilled drinks? Buzz clearly started it, and he should know better since he’s older! It really is unfair. And the cop they sent to the house couldn’t break in and make sure he was safe? Seems like a total failure by every adult involved. So sad.

Meriweather: Mr. Belichick, the bartender was hoping he could get paid now.

It’s not even my birthday.

Thank god. For a while there I thought I was being racist for thinking all the winners looked alike.

I understand all the hysteria, but let’s take it easy on this guy: he is single-handedly responsible for one of the only satisfying climaxes to a Chargers game this season.

Hey, I know people keep calling this guy Elite, but he gets into all sorts of trouble when he gets out of the pocket.

“What’s the problem? I was told to stand here, and wear this hat and jack..... oh shit.”

Paying $100 to not get a job with the Browns seems totally worth it.

This is smart. Why wait until the next draft to sign a QB?

Take care of the gumbo! Go to the Roux, Start Celery, Onions Garlic! Bouillon! (players: Bouillon!) *coach raises right arm* GREEN BELL PEPPERS! Medium-low heat, sausage, simmer ONE TWO THREE!

Pretty sure it was a gumbo recipe.

BAC TO THE FUTURE

Eh, donate the cash to whichever organization you think would piss off Trump the most. Such as Planned Parenthood, Bosley Hair Restoration, or Jack’s Only Large Gloves Warehouse.

Huh. Not the usual kind of hot water we see college athletes getting themselves into these days.

Well she is the 1%, so...

As if his hands could wrap all the way around a baby’s neck.

Trump supporter: “Well, maybe he did strangle a baby but......emails!”

At this point you’d have to have footage of him strangling a baby for it to matter.