Ooh, I love this game! Let me do some:

@junkyardarts: *shrug* Diff'rent strokes.

It's hard to boycott a magazine no one reads in the first place.

@greeneyedfem: As gorgeous as Cheyenne is, he's kind of a poor counterexample to the Setoodeh article. He pings my gaydar REALLY hard on 30 Rock and it is kind of distracting, given that we're supposed to believe he and Liz are fucking.

A loser? I'd argue that Lindsay even now is more relevant than the Ke$ha of 2003. Also, that's some stupid hair.

At first glance, I literally could not tell whether that was Gaga or Madonna.

I swear, Michelle makes a "who farted" face every time she is photographed with Bruni. It makes me love her more.

That photo is ridiculously fucking hot and I request it be placed in front of every article about fashion henceforth.

Why do you hate Canada, J. Lo?

Why do you hate Canada, J. Lo?

Why do you hate Canada, J. Lo?

An Etch-A-Sketch is harder to operate than an iPod. It's the most intuitive piece of hardware on the market. Fail, Mr. President, fail.

These two have never exchanged a single word. And why is she wearing my dishtowels?

<3

I'm not convinced anyone actually listens to Katy Perry. I mean, it's one thing to not change the station when "Hot and Cold" comes on, but actual Katy Perry fans? I think they're mythological. I believe all of her album sales can be attributed to purchases by parents shopping for their children, Perry's own family…

Dear Justin Timberlake, would you please back off from this desperate ploy to make people think you're funny? I'm glad you have such a good friend in Andy Samberg, but making music is what you're good at, so you should get back to that. Thanks!

This is what I hear when I read Capeheart's column:

Faces of Douche.

I hope whoever wrote that "sexiest swimsuit for your body" article is making a killing, because it appears every single year like clockwork. I look forward to being told yet again that if I'm plus-sized I should wear either a one-piece or a tankini.

@mandiandi: Okay, so basically you and she are addressing different points of semantic distinction.