Yes, and I don’t care to eat grass but I do eat beef.

Which is why I don’t eat them

I think part of it was that Obama's election stunned the rest of the world and they wanted to give the US a pat on the head. They were eager to encourage us in our new identities as thoughtful global citizens. We sure showed them.

It’s because the Prize Committee can see into the future.

I like raisins in general but hate it when I bite into an oatmeal cookie and a whole raisin comes out in the bite. To work around that, I chopped up the raisins into very small pieces (the size of coarse-ground pepper) and put them in the batter. The raisin flavor was there but the whole chewy goop was not. Someone…

Donald Trump still can’t comprehend how Obama earned a Nobel Peace Prize.

“So, what did you play?”

Yeah, being the one to let Oprah die before she’s 80 because of pneumonia probably wouldn’t be the best of looks as EVERYONE would know you as the Doctor Who Let Oprah Die. I may not be in my 60's but I am in my late 40's and I can tell you that taking what seems to be small things for granted can have dire…

In 1998, Turner was also charged with child abuse for beating his then 7-year-old child, according to the Sentinel. About five years later, Turner was involved in an altercation involving his ex-wife’s husband.

As a European who would be the first to roll my eyes at a walking ‘Ugly American’ stereotype in my country - just stop. You’re being an Ugly European.

your waiter/waitress has 3-4,000 tables under their purview, each with rapidly depleting beverages. it feels less creepy to stop in and ask a question real quick than it does to silently stalk past your table eyeballing your drinks to see how fast they need to get refills covered.

Was she drug tested independently outside of the department? Cuz this sure sounds like she was very messed up.

Not only a red door mat, but her next thought must’ve been, as she opened the door “someone broke in and switched out my couch and kitchen table and pictures and paintings...” and then she came upon the dangerous black man trying to redecorate. Shooting the perp in defense of her khaki decor was really the only…

“Don’t break into someone’s house and then shoot him” doesn’t seem like an especially impossible standard.

Thanks mom, I'll get you those grandchildren right away. *rolls eyes*

And throw in the Rust Belt and the Midwest in as well. I’m sick of these people needing their god damn hands held, or else they threaten to fuck over the entire world because they feel they didn’t get pandered to enough. I live in Texas, Dem candidates only come here to raise money, yet I don’t turn around and throw a…

Poor white people love to believe their own lies, see themselves as greater than their circumstances, and accordingly vote against their interests.

“And I’m talking REAL baby back ribs! DRIPPING with sauce!”

Because America.  I bet you there are plenty of schools across this country that are filled with Paul Blarts and Barney Fifes (referencing for you older folk) who are more than willing to take it to the extreme on any kid, especially POC children, who raises their ire.

Turner is a retired Orlando PD officer who was previously reprimanded for excessive force.