I wish!  My cat wears a 2T.

I had SUCH  crush on Matt Nokes when I was a tween.

Or... maybe I can just be happy with the easy-to-find thing that I already enjoy.  (Also, I have never fully understood the desire to set cheese on fire - perhaps I haven’t had enough drinks at that point.)

I was in the UK last month for work and halloumi is EVERYWHERE and I love it now.  I would marry it.

I’m afraid my little brother will feel this way which is why it’s my (brutal) friend’s job to do it when dying.

Both teams played hard.

I fully thought this was how quick-drying cement worked when I was a kid.  It was only explained to me after I had stepped backwards into the newly poured driveway.

Outside is overrated. Imma enjoy my mayo salads in the air conditioning.  Alone.  With this bottle of Malibu, my only friend.

My sister is one of these people.  She also can’t figure out why she keeps getting fungal ear infections.

And no, troll person, I’ve only been downtown to turn in forms to the City Assessor. I’m just inside of 5 Mile.

I had to ditch Nextdoor in my mostly (all?) white neighborhood in Washington state.  I rejoined after moving to Detroit and it’s lovely... found dogs, restaurant recommendations, tips on contractors and city services.  So great!

My backyard is a negative space.  Granny panties leave me with literal handfuls of extra material that wad up inside my shorts/pants or make me feel like they’re going to slide off under skirts/dresses.

The more excited the mayor gets, the more I assume it’s a pile of bullshit.  And he was REAL EXCITED about this.

I’m too busy admiring all the excellent sites he has for blood draws.  

White noise app!  I put it on when I sit down and don’t turn it off until I’m back in the terminal.  This will probably me someday...

I have spent exactly $0 on weed in my life and probably a couple thousand dollars on Taco Bell.

I already have boiled eggs and bacon fat in my possession. I THINK I LOVE YOU.

I think the ex would have given up the mom when he told them about the body. Then he could try and place it all on her.

Or not - based on a comment below!  People are horrible.  

One of my friends took to making peanut butter sandwiches for her backyard squirrel.  To the point where the squirrel (and her children) would knock on the window and wait for her to get up and make food to order.

So cute!  My K cups say no to halter tops which is a problem.