Why does Kate keep having kids? She already has an heir and a spare. Give your vag a break.

He has bigger tits than Michelle.

Plus he’s ginormously fat.

Also: whatever Laurie was trying to say is going to not be counted. She can’t write a coherent paragraph.

What are they most afraid of? A treadmill.

I wouldn’t know. I muted the shit out of it and played Green Day/U2's 2006 half-time performance on my laptop. Way better.

Also: Trump is overweight. And that means he’s not healthy. So, his doctor lied. Trump is lumpy and gross.

I deal with hypothyroidism and take levothyroxine once a day. So, that one is null and void because if I was elected president, I’d be healthy enough to serve - and declare the national religion Judaism or some such shit to make the right freak out.

Guys, I’m sorry, but I’m so over this. There are people being beheaded and persecuted overseas and this is what people are getting angry over?

This is because America is fat and lazy. It’s not that hard to cook a simple meal, save it, freeze it, reheat it. It’s also cheaper than eating out.

So then by “creator,” in a non-religious sense would mean their parents. So if they get their parent’s permission, then we’re all good by this law, right?

Well, when they’re not fucking their cousins, this is all they have to do.

Pictured above: People who should’ve been aborted.

I hope there were lots of sheltered christian children in attendance that saw the boobs.

No. If you can’t be bothered to make a tuna or pb&j sandwich during a storm, or you know, heat up soup, or a hot pocket, you deserve to starve.

See? Told you.

Anytime I mention getting one to a friend she’s all ‘I’ve had so many friends get pregnant with IUDs!’ Is my friend just a bitch? I successfully take the pill but I’d like not to have to worry about it and NOT have to worry about my dude impregnating me.

Hasn’t it come out that Mo Theresa was/is a piece of shit?

There’s tourism in Oklahoma?

Right into Texas Crazy Land! They can have them. BYE, OKLAHOMA!