Oh! Not from the movie Misery? Sounds very much like the movie Misery. Which I’ve only seen on stage.

WTF is that?

Lets face it: if you live in Minnesota, what else is there to do?

Why hasn’t this motherfucker been executed yet?

Lottery is the tax on the dumb. This person and her family are exceptionally dumb.

Where was the catastrophe for Lincoln, Nebraska? Or Dubuque, Iowa?

My goodness, have you ever seen a fatter group of old white people? Sheesh. Also: Fuck Huckabee.

Excuses to cover up the fact that they have herpes.

My dream wedding: courthouse ceremony, walk into my favorite bar with a bunch of my friends and family waiting there to party it up for a few hours, eating some damn delicious bbq chicken wings and blue moon, and goof off in a photo booth. How much do chicken wings and beer cost? $5,000? Photobooth is like $4k. Let’s…

My fists can be bought. Let’s talk. All cash.

Fuck this college and fuck religion. Anyone who truly worships any god is a fucking moron. Use your common sense to figure shit out and be a good person instead of relying on your favorite sky wizard.

Sorry, the assholes who voted or didn’t vote in this wasteland of a state get what they deserve. Also: fuck this guy.

Is it bad if I think this is just as stupid as a woman taking a man’s name? How about people just come together in a union and keep their own damn names? Why does anyone have to give up a name?