With the Freudian introduction of him walking around in public with a dead beaver on his head, it's little wonder he was so comfortable openly discussing spunk.

99.9% of the time, I operate under the construct that "I don't have to agree with your opinion for us to have a reasonable discussion and peacefully coexist." But when I saw that freaking Hobby Lobby only got 4.5 stars, I knew the wackadoo meter was too far off the scales for me to give even the slightest fuck about…

Well said, have.at.it. Thanks for jumping in to give some first-hand perspective. I grew up in a Navy town (dad was a vet and contractor) and have a brother who's done four 1-year deployments with the Army. There's nothing sensational about what you said. If anything, you downplayed the situation.

Jesus H. Christ! Can we talk about the inhumanity of a two-year deployment???

"I like to have a martini. Two at the very most. Three I'm under the table; four I'm under the host."

No, girl. Just NO. Look, the dance committee appreciates your enthusiasm and hard work, but there was a vote and you were taken off mix tape duty. There's nothing wrong with you—it just seems like your sparkling personality would be better used serving punch.

This is true. But this one, in my cold black heart, is nipping at its ass in the #2 slot.

I've kind of enjoyed crazi-ass Brandi Glanville, but I'm really tired of the single-mom-victim card she plays every time someone starts to point out that she's the equivalent of a pig wrestling booth at the Beverly Hills farmers market. Throw back another shot and unleash that foul mouth with some clever, cutting…

I lived in India for a few years. Graft is so institutionalized that it has a formal name, "baksheesh." One will encounter baksheesh payments in practically every mundane aspect of life, from buying a train ticket to arranging housing.

Don't forget about her platform of elevating women!

Fair question. There are a lot of little squidge factors for me...another commenter has a great post about the South and fathers putting their daughters on pedestals while treating their wives like shit. That's an accurate description of the Southern side of my family, so I have that experience.

Well who needs an Elf on the Shelf when you've got an unseen guest at every meal? I wonder if he has good boundaries and brings hostess gifts? And if not, does one get to judge and say, "That's not very Christian of you..." Does he offer to help with the dishes, or expect to retire to the porch with the menfolk to…

Whereas I keep thinking, "Jeesh! That cow is going to have one hell of a crook in her neck when she wakes up!"

FTW! And yet, I suspect you are not nearly self-absorbed, sociopathic, or libertarian enough to be the next great technology leader.

The wackadoo element on Pinterest is really confusing. Between the Preppers, the Evangelicals, and the blatent weirdos, I'm constantly at a loss. I've got a board about powerful, inspiring women, and almost without fail, when a man follows it, I go to his profile and see it full of porn pins. It makes my face turn…

Was it this one? It's so barftastic it makes my uterus shudder.

Ooooh, I think we can make this happen! We just need to get that Probst character to lure them all to a remote island, set up cameras everywhere, organize wacky hyper-competitive games, and the rest of the civilized world can watch as the whole thing goes all Lord of the Flies!!!!

Wait..how do you figure? I thought we were still grappling with unprecedented population growth in the face of extreme weather/climate change; still hadn't gotten a hold on our petroleum dependence or the fact that most of the world faces water scarcity, rampant infectious diseases, and a lack of access to toilets.…

This makes me sad. I mistakenly assumed that the badass Goldieblox ad was crafted with the blessing of the Beasties. So now I'm kind of irritated with both sides. The toy company should have gotten permission. DON'T STEAL OTHER PEOPLE'S TOYS, toy company marketing life skills to kids. Beasties, we need more girls in…