I’d rather pick my recipient. Ted Cruz, you’re about to find out about the “beauty” of an unwanted pregnancy.

Passengers on the Aaron Hernandez cruise, however, did not have nearly as much fun.

Fun fact: If you spend money like a crazy person you’ll go broke. Even if you’re a successful recording artist.

They do. They just don’t want me to have it. That hetero privilege is very real.

It’s very common for parents (of any religious or political background) to assume that their child’s sexuality is a sickness. My mother and father told me they’d rather me be in jail for murder than out on these streets twirling to Beyonce and sucking dick. Sighs all around.

I support Bernie because of who he is, not what he is. I oppose Hillary because who she is, not what she is.

“Men tend to get more conservative because they gain power as they age,”

Oh, step on a rusty nail, haters. This is clearly a parody of the absurdity of the fashion world these days and not transphobic at all. I don’t even think he is supposed to be transgender in the first place. I think he’s supposed to be alien-like. Which is also a joke on how people have compared Cumberbatch’s…

Someone lost a bet.

I for one wish this fellow many happy returns.

I’d bet a nice dinner that this was to get around loopholes in unemployment law.

A green card means that you’ve been granted permanent resident status, which means that you have indefinite permission to live and work in the US. The big difference between permanent residency and citizenship (other than some voting rights and stuff which aren’t really relevant to this situation) is that permanent…

I thought an eagle punch was when you punch someone in the stomach right before he climaxes causing them to screech and flap their arms.

I’d actually like to go back to Guacamole whenever possible, it’s delicious there.

I guess she didn’t think the deal was.... a Grand Slam.

I had a friend who REALLY loved wasabi. Whenever we went for sushi, they’d keep giving him more as he could cheerfully eat it straight.

It depends on who we’re talking about. The administration bought into the corporate model of education years ago, and they largely don’t know how to even begin to have an honest dialogue about campus climate that goes beyond touting whatever new bells and whistles have been added in any given year to attract more…

Few things give me more hope for our future than my generations willingness to make a stand for things we deem important. Good on these kids for standing up and putting the university in a situation that is going to force some action.

I am a female physician. I did my residency in the 1990s and I remember the nurses as a godsend. We had to run the ER as residents when we were one year out of medical school. It was a busy urban ER and drug overdoses and end stage HIV (it was during the height of the epidemic and there was no great treatment) as well…

Like those onion cutting goggles. Honestly if you eat pussy right I don’t give a fuck what you have on your face. Wear a fucking Groucho Marx mask for all I care.