You just bragged about how basic your wife and daughters are...

More like Tackie O, amirite?

Well I guess we know who Trump will appoint for the Chairman of the Department of Agriculture.

“Dragons first” omg hahahahaha I want to date that guy.

Now that this story is public, he’ll never ketchup in the polls.

Actually, no. You only have a right for arms.

it’s a small thing, but i’m sure he’s going there to lend a hand.

the GOP let the horse out of the barn a long time ago but only now is closing the doors. Except it wasn’t really a horse, but a mangy goat covered in rotten marmalade who thinks he’s a unicorn.

See Don, this is a “IT WAS JUST A JOKE” moment. It’s not inviting a foreign power to hack your political opponent.

Pence’s best play is to have Trump lose.

That's a sick burn from Cecile Richards. Fuck this dude. Seriously.

These pups like the way you think.

There once was a girl from Nantucket
with talent as deep as a bucket.
She tried to “sound black”
and wrote songs like a hack
so they gave her a Grammy when they should have said “Fuck it.”

And this:

They didn’t even make it to the ‘one month for every year of our age difference’ stage of their marriage.

I guess that could become the hobby that Brooks claimed she desperately needs.

What does Sanders do for fun?

His tiny little hands just don’t have a high groping efficiency.

No. The rapper called Pitbull apparently got his name while on the way to watch a dog fight, so fuck him and his icky physical appearance.

Same here. I’ve also Googled the phrase “your father must be proud!” due to fact that white men (including one NYPD officer @ west 4th st subway stop) scream it at me as I walk down the street with my husband so often I thought for sure it had to be a line from a movie. Turns out white dudes just really think my dad…