The old ladies in my grandmother’s bridge league were regularly users of HGH. Hydrox, Gin, and Halobetasol for rashes.  

To really put the duration of this contract into perspective, when it expires, R. Kelly will try to have sex with it.

I call BS on the operating costs of the Alfa. There is no way that thing isn’t spending half the year in the shop. It’s fuel costs are likely half of whats being used.

As a local taxpayer, he’s not just an irate stepfather. He’s also an owner.

I too am a billionaire if you estimate the value of my brand at $4 billion. Please don’t make me own the Bills.

Duchene despised playing for Roy so he and Torts should get along swimmingly.

the R&R hall of fame is a bigger wank than the grammys and the oscars combined. 

“Nobody believed in us.”

This team really is committed to illegally getting stuff released from their balls.

You would say that, you abortion loving commie! Fuck off!

Can I take this opportunity to brag about the commenters here? They rock. They’re one of the main reasons I frequent this site so much. I’ll even read boring posts or posts about soccer (yuck) just to get to the comments.

Ol’roit ol’roit ol’roit.

Is Step 4“be credibly accused of sexual assault multiple times”.

52 kids under him? I thought he was a Steeler, not a Cardinal. 

Yeah, but how many kids does Philip Rivers have?

Early favorite for gold is this guy:

The Tick. Show up as the Tick.

Remember when the FBI tried to blackmail MLK into committing suicide? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

America loves civil rights leaders when they’re old and non-threatening or dead and really non-threatening. From MLK to Jackie Robinson to John Lewis to Muhammad Ali, the pattern is obvious.

a cool thing kinja sites are doing now is snapping back to the top of the page after i’ve scrolled down to the portion i wish to actually read. very helpful