You guys are awesome. It is not hyperbole to say that this site often gets me through the day. Keep up the good work, and for the love of god do not stick to sports.

It was almost a relief knowing that after St. Louis fans had themselves a nice day watching their favorite hockey team visit their favorite president ever, that they received a nice, swift kick to the gonads in the form of the Cardinal’s being swept, to bring them back to reality. 

The actual Tomsula Index is a list of businesses that will let you use their bathroom without having to buy anything. 

No way. Dee in the bathroom as an ostrich!

or punch him in the dick and balls

Welcome to America in 2019, where Arians claim to be helping a Gay but really just want to set them further back.

Nobody cares about your Fantasy team, Gabe.

Great, now I have to jerk off.

These guys fight with the skill and grace of three sleepy manatee trying to fuck a beach ball.

Chief Wigwam couldn’t hurdle a single row let alone break up a beer fight. Blue seats matter.

*tips hat*
“M’Brady.”
*mansplains something*

I refuse to believe Sidney Crosby is cool enough to do drugs. 

It started with her saying it’d be a nice thing for me to do for her going-away.

I support Kenny; I support the player protests. Quite honestly, they’re bringing attention to my story. So, let’s talk about that. I’m the son of immigrants, I’m black, I grew up poor.

Whett Thudd is actually an undrafted linebacker out of Appalachian State who stands a good shot at making the Raiders’ 53-man roster.

Forehead in Ohio

Reached fewer people than a $5 Facebook ad.

I mean, if you’re gonna unfurl a ‘Trump 2020’ flag somewhere, you might as well do it where the people there are so stupid they went to an Orioles game in August.