one of which triggered an array of porn to be broadcast onto a wall for the entire office to see for more than 20 minutes, until a tech employee killed the feed.

I believe the correct plural of beef is beeves.

In honor of his tenure, Chiarelli will be given a 750M severance package paid over 125 years.

If they could make the grille a *little* taller, they could turn it into a speaker stack and have the Doof Warrior from Mad Max standing on the bumper playing a guitar solo. *That* might finally get the driver the respect they nakedly crave.

Caps Snatch Defeat From Jaws

DON’T JUDGE UNTIL YOU WATCH THE FULL VIDEO DURHHH

No, I’m done, I’ve have it. This kid and his friends are being treated like fucking royalty by Republicans and right-wingers, while the Parkland School shooting survivors are still being insulted and mocked by the same people praising these kids. Fuck this shit. Dead kids? Who cares. Survivors? Who cares. Catholic…

If it weren’t vegetarian, they wouldn’t call it “tossing salad”.

Maybe he’s just very into buttalingus and he’s worried about performing the act on his beloved on a Friday during Lent.

You did not win this fight. I am happy to accept defeat, but I did not lose.

The slipping sound is perfect! Unlike those Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercials, I won’t have to mute this video to masturbate to it.

What you see here hinges on whether you believe that “Make America Great Again” is a dog whistle meant to unite racists, misogynists, and homophobes under one umbrella, or you’re delusional and don’t care about people who aren’t white men.

Fucking great. This will legitimize the MAGA lies that Chicago is full of black men who can’t stop shooting.

“The source, who was unnamed but reported to have an 11 inch penis...”

Deeply kiss your son and father on the lips with that mouth? 

You know what’s even better than going to the movies alone? Not going at all! Forget about all of the creature comforts that home offers rather than theaters, forget about the ridiculous cost of tickets and concessions. The simple fact is: the good movies are streaming, not in theaters! Hot take, I know! Seriously…

Joe Ingles: trash talker of the gods. Body of a rec league dad. 

Soggy fries served in paper cups with the presidential seal is probably the most apt metaphor for this presidency. 

Normally, it has to be planned well in advance to be shoehorned into the extremely busy schedule of the president.

“He can do stuff that Chris Paul and Derrick Rose can’t.”