Counterpoint - The Sun is going to eventually expand and consume the Earth*, killing everyone, which I believe is a little something called “murder,” so we are well within our rights to pre-emptively strike back at this deadly foe via any means necessary.

Good Bull Hunting’s “graphical preview” of Saturday’s game is the kind of innovative internetting the world needs in 2018.

Same thing happened to my friend- he got charged with assault and battery when he leveled Brad in accounting with a devastating elbow while he was distracted by a regional conference call.

Gruden was reached for comment during a recent camping trip but he declined

More power to the heat shields Mr. Scott!

It’s great that Christian Hackenberg gets to be a second round bust in two leagues. 

It’s time to rethink LeBron James. I mean, he didn’t even get to play college ball.

The Rams and Chiefs just played the greatest Monday Night Football game ever and the Deadspin recap managed to work in two shots at the Buffalo Bills.

Your burner game is slipping, Kevin.

Sweet Jebus.  That’s a terrible case of boneitis.

I love it.

I predict that Aquaman will sweep the Oscars. The Academy loves films about fish fuckers.

If you’re not drinking beer and farting, are you even playing darts?

Probably just telling Alexa to replay his favorite Toto song.

If you were more clever, you could have said, “This joke also belongs in that closet.”

How bad is it that Bill Simmons was the self aware one here?

Well, for the black players.  The white players will be described as “salvaging” or “finding” things.

I’m assuming by “baggage” you’re referring to the fact that there are multiple photographs floating around out there of him standing next to Ben Roethlisberger

He took a minute of self-aggrandizing to set up a barely self-deprecating punchline, to muted Canadian reactions. That’s kinda sorta a metaphor here, right?

Nathan Peterman gets a full release but predictably, the Bills franchise won’t get a happy ending.