Blue protects blue before blue protects you.

Jesus, another blue line violation. 

New England should have seen it coming when Derek Anderson called out “Readyyyy.... down.... HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT”

They already made that. It was called Tosh.0 and it sucked.

That got way too British way too fast.

It took an extra hour because instead of taking a buyout on his contract, Todd wanted the Browns to provide him a proper severance:

Swap Arby’s with Joe’s Crab Shack and you’ve nailed it. 

Damn. They just took Jameis’s job without his consent. How awful.

$100k Neon lol

Copious amounts of marijuana.

We all know Rashida is at once both a beautiful, talented, brilliant, powerful musk ox and a poetic, noble land mermaid. What does Wiz bring to the table?

If Fifty Cent wants to make beef with me, he should buy all the stuff at my yard sale. That’ll show me!

The titles for all Mushnick columns should really start with FWD: FWD: FWD:

I’M WORRIED ABOUT THE LACK OF MANUAL AND THE REPLACEMENT COST OF THESE UNNECESSARY ELECTRONIC NANNIES.

“I’m 20, just dropped out of St. John’s University, have a chinstrap beard, wear embellished jeans with Air Jordans, and the IT consulting firm that my Russian-born parents founded just scored a huge contract with the City. What car should i buy?”

“Mr. Chairman, on the motion to remove the current Trustees we have a dozen ayes and one very loud neigh.”

This feels like a coup against Elway loyalists 

This sounds like one of those cases where two guys were talking at the bar and one of them said, “Hey, did you know the engine bay of a Caddy is almost the same length and width as the entire back half of an Integra?”

Yeah, it’s called Australia. 

But will it handle mall duty and a once yearly trip to Home Depot?