I can’t even participate in the “He looks like...” because there are too many things he looks like he (and almost definitely actually) does in real life. Does he jump on people and tell them we live in a Republic? You fucking know it. Start every conversation insisting that he’s not a racist? Yup. Say women have it…

THIS GUY. Russ Dickson. I call him “Shock Top” because he is now owned by Bud.

Well if it makes any one feel any better next week we can watch the Heartless Lions lose to Brady, Gronk, and whatever 20 other guys responded to the ad in Maxim magazine by Sunday. 

It took him that long to realize he was on the Bills? 

They should keep Tom Brady inside on days like this. Put him in his bandana and let him sit on the couch with you. He loves that. 

It actually makes sense. Like, have you ever sharted, just a little? The mistake most make is to freak out and try and clean up. The right move is to actually lean into it and explosively and excessively shit your pants. People will think you’re a lunitic and the stench will scare most off, and that’s when you strike!

It doesn’t take much to trick someone from Arkansas. I used to sell Cheerios there as donut seeds. 

But is it a sandwich?

Oof, I lost this round of "Is It Aurora or Colorado Springs?"

So you can get cash and some sick new flavors of vape juice!

So this must be the fashion version of justifying the Alex Smith contract.

I think, between this and the annual Williams-Sonoma catalog review, we have learned that Drew needs to do more catalog reviews.

Why anyone from Oakland would show up to these games is a mystery to me. Jesus, show some backbone.

Dude signed a $100 million contract but can't shell out $4 for some Coppertone.

Cooter’s predictable offense

not the kind of article about destructive Jets I expected to see today, but cool nevertheless

Did you watch the game? The Lions players took a knee for all four quarters.

You seem angry.

I’m calling it now: The Browns are going 0-0-16 this season. 

But on the upside, today was the day Donald trump finally became president.