The problem is that he’s 26 years old, has been playing football making other people money since he was 18, and has never had an opportunity to even see his market value. He played for a worthless scholarship in college, while everyone from his coach to the ticket usher to the dude that mows the grass on the practice…

Finally, shoes to go with Little Nephew’s pants.

“Running out the clock? I’m confused. Doesn’t that mean punting to the other team on 3rd down with a 2-point lead and just over two minutes to go?” - Andy Reid

Shohei Ohtani Finally Smashed A Dinger Off A Lefty To Own The Libs 

Haha, it’s funny because the president looking the other way because of a personal financial interest is the literal definition of corruption.

“To be honest, I sort of wilt when faced with people or entities that have significant authority.”

They should have the young McClane not speak at all but his thoughts are voiced by Bruce Willis. They can call it “Look who’s Talking Too Hard”

Not the first time someone fucked up at the US Open.

As a liberal, I don’t feel like I’m being owned enough. I suggest they keep literally playing with fire on their property, just to show just how strong-willed and patriotic they are.

Wait, you mean having pineapple on pizza, or the debate about it?

“Hey Peterman. This chick look like Ann to you?”

The Big Bang Theory 

Clogging your arteries with mediocre burgers and shitty fries to own the libs.

I’m not gonna concoct a better metaphor for Jacksonville than Duval losers gathering in 90-degree heat to jump into wading pools of mayonnaise for free.

What made the original so great was that it was indeed about a bunch of cartoonish GI Joe badasses... and then something completely and utterly superior to all of them fucks them up and makes them unravel in fear, and the only reason it loses is getting in a prideful one-on-one match with no weapons that Arnold only…

Next up: Minnesota Vikings. Ugh.

I think we’ll do well this year.

Obligatory

Current state of the Marlins - payroll of a minor league baseball team, marketing department of a minor league hockey team.