The players will be getting an invite to the White House. Trump might even let Ovechkin and Kuznetsov move in.

*Romper Room voice*
Hi, children. You wonderful, precious, galaxy-brained kids over here want to say the 36-26 team is five games ahead of the 31-31 team. You can say that. You can say they are five games ahead of the .500 team. We love you. You are safe and loved.

“No, Mr. Bettman, they were saying Booooo-bs.”

We’re in the final stages of my fantasy of Ovechkin being a super spy sent to play in the NHL with the ultimate goal of winning the Cup to earn a trip to the White House and assassinate the president. I don’t condone assassination, but you’d have to respect the long game.

I know things look promising right now, but Caps fans know there’s still an opportunity to blow this.

Wow, maybe Reddit really has matured as a community and perhaps it’s time to start taking it seriously....

Hmm this doesn’t bode well for my Fat Guy in a Little Coat line of menswear.

Probably didn’t have any Altima’s on the Buy Here Pay Here lot so he was forced to pay $650 a month for 8 years on a old, high-mileage Bimmer and he was in a hurry to show his only friend what a chooch he is.

This is like a recovering coke addict talking to a heroin addict. Yeah, we both had a problem, but you were down a much worse path in life.

I dunno. Jerky still sounds like a common bathroom activity.

here’s the headline:

Am I the only one disappointed by a lack of references to Doug Demuro?

This is really sad. Please stop.

Common sense says motor down and wait for an opening and slide right in. But others are determined to wait till the ABSOLUTE last minute and come rocketing in and try to wedge themselves right in.

I know. Intolerance of intolerance is the worst kind of intolerance, isn’t it.

Sure, typical Deadspin bullshit. Embiid dunks on a dude in a park and he’s a fucking hero.
Meanwhile, Richie Incognito attempts to tackle a dude at 24hour Fitness and he’s, “Mentally unstable.”

Well it won’t be a Ford that’s for sure.

If Detroit ever gets to the playoffs again, I want them to start every home game by making everyone sit through the complete assembly of a 4-door sedan, right there on the ice.

I hit one of my foursome once on thinly hit fairway wood. Thing never went higher than 5 feet but was moving, he came up over a hill off the right hand side of the fairway right after I hit it.

So You Want To Buy A 2018 Ford EcoSport