A Bear Post on Deadspin! It must be Friday. TIME FOR THE WEEKEND.

Whatever. Fuck that girl and fuck all those people. You aren’t allowed to feel joy. I hope she lost that puck on the way home. Hockey is stupid. I’m not mad, YOU are.

This is some sort of lengthy parable about the Capital’s playoff performance, isn’t it?

This being the playoffs, I really would have appreciated it if the league office had listed it as “lower body, day-to-day.”

He’s a meta-human who can dunk so hard that it renders his arm useless for 10 minutes, but avoids any lasting damage.

That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run.

I gotta tell you, I was NOT expecting it to be a musical episode.

The Cavs do appear a bit flat.

Made in China - $37.99:

Her hit “Fight Song” was Hillary Clinton’s campaign anthem, so this isn’t the first time she’s let America down.

I have never...attempted to gain a competitive advantage.

gtfo with that north dakota propaganda. nobody wants to be there.

Well, two of their draft picks are Hart candidates this year.

One for Saturday and one for the rest of the week. Next question.

Was that Jean Claude Van Damme behind the plate?

I’ve read this story three times and I still can’t figure out what the fuck is going on. I’m just going to assume that all three of these people are probably assholes.

Next step: hire little people as teachers so that the bats seem normal size.

There is no guarantee Dems will win the House and/or Senate. We need to get involved - donate, calls, hit the streets. Sitting back and hoping the GOP is just going to implode is NOT going to be enough.

See?

*extremely guy walking into a weekday, daytime baseball game voice*