U2? YOU GOT OFF LIGHT! Have an un-ironic love for Phil Collins and see how people treat you!

Maybe it has stuff about cars in it.

The HBO CEO of Tits hasn’t heard about it.

Yeah, but is it a catch?

Torch would recommend a 1985 Subaru Brat and tell you to spend the remaining $22,672 on a hot dog cannon mounted in the bed.

Derek Jeter is setting a great example for the rest of Florida by attempting to purge the Marlins of every arm they’ve got.

This is exactly how I feel whenever I see a picture of Jared Kushner.

Hell, he was in the NFL. How does he explain even the time differences in sunsets between New York and the west coast?

Clearly it’s been correcting for the so-called curve of the earth that’s led to his being unable to hit the broad side of a barn.

That still counts!

Maybe if, as a teacher, you shot them, it would help.

Pierre? I didn’t recognize the new screen name.

Man, Crosby was terrible in this tournament.

Doesn’t some langauge have a word for feeling joy at others’ failure?

I believe the German word is “Saskatchewan.”

Hmm. VATS.

It’s not about respecting the sanctity of the Olympics or the IOC, but it’s certainly rude to your fellow competitors. The idea that you can spend a lot of time with the other athletes (either on the mountain or during your downtime in the isolated ski resorts where competitions take place) and then go out and…

I didn’t know there was a Chrysler 300 Call Of Duty edition.

This is a bizarre comparison that probably sounded much funnier in your head.

...I liked the color...