This broke my brain.

Great. Their one fan is on the team. Good luck selling tickets now, Jeets.

This is the most important infographic I’ve ever seen.

I’m always shocked at how many pseudonyms my father-in-law has.

Clearly you are attempting to be humerus in your description of The President of the United States.

In the new XFL, players won’t be allowed to have career-ending neck injuries. Problem solved.

The subtext is obvious but it’s worth spelling out that “family-friendly” here is a dogwhistle for “you won’t have to explain to your kids that a professional athlete is upset that unarmed black people are getting murdered by police, in the very unlikely event they even noticed the brief protest to begin with”. Christ.

It’s just as well he wasn’t actually eating shit. Cannibalism is a terrible thing.

Dammit, I clicked on this article hoping that Hannity was eating a bowl of shit and not a figurative one. So, Hannity got caught in a lie and changed the subject which is otherwise known as Thursday.

It’s a strange thing to have a failed businessman/reality star jackass/puddle of rotting whale blubber dyed orange as president. These are strange times.

“I like artists with both their ears.”

My uncle is a retired Air Force colonel. This is what he looks like:

I can’t tell if this comment is weirdly mysoginistic or just funy, so I’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt: and they should take their shirts off too!

No, Mr Larson.

Steroids shrink dickheads.

This is what you get from fan feedback:

When my grandson comes home from school, I usually greet him with, “Hey, buddy. How you doing? Did you learn anything interesting today?” But he’s 5 and so everything at school is still interesting to him, and he’s glad somebody wants to know. I know it’ll pass but I’m enjoying it while it lasts.

Careful with using using the words “Draymond” “dick” and “post” in the same sentence. Don’t give anyone— including Draymond—any ideas.

I mean yeah. Don’t you know any teenagers?

If You build it, some asshole will come and ruin it.