Flying saucer was cliched and crappy. Anal probe was cold, not very thorough. 3/10 stars.

Check is in the mail Alex. Thanks again.

A tennis player named...Tennys?

Eagles Fans: Destroying Stereotypes Since Never.

What happened to me? I was once young and beautiful, too! Probably two-stroke, as well.

Nobody wants to hear about your premature ejaculation.

DO YOU CHOWDAHEADS KNOW HOW WICKED EXPENSIVE IT IS TO PAHK YA CAH IN THA HAHVAHD YAHD?!?!

+1 Punisher skull tattoo

“Jokes on you, Robby. My wife has a nut allergy, which is why we can’t even have sex anymore.”

I swear to fucking god, if this becomes another bloody sock sort of thing...

Wilco is “dad rock.” Motley Crue has always been, and will always be fucking garbage

Apparently, you haven’t heard the bible preached at you (I mean, none of those shits have read it). The Evangelical Audio Book (tm) correctly tells them that Jesus spent 98% of his words teaching the Two Sacred Truths.

Wow this is the worst thing to ever happen from something ExxonMobil.

Definitely the back side. If it were the front, there’d be a bulge for that raging hard on he perpetually has for whatever brand he is thinking about.

“Oh, it’s nothin’ Bob, just anudder slight heart attack”

Oh thank god, I love being drunk.

Yes. Did you get your birthday check?

“I have been called ‘bitch’ more than anyone on the planet”.

Paget Brewster is a delightful drunk history narrator. She gets wonderfully belligerent and bossy. She made Waters go for a drunken swim with her in one episode, which obviously is a terrible idea, but you can’t really fight her.

luckily you’re still a dick so I guess we’re all set.