Step 1: Dump chicken strips, tacos, churros, onion rings, fries into deep fryer.

The U.S. had committed $3 billion (that’s with a “b” not a “tr”) to the Green Climate Fund, the UN’s main climate project funding mechanism. It’s the biggest contributor but don’t forget the U.S. is also the largest historical emitter of carbon dioxide and the world’s biggest economy. Dozens of other countries have…

He wrote in “Ron Rivera, future head coach of America” on a postcard addressed to “The Election” for which he didn’t apply any postage.

If he gets a ring with the Pats, will he return it since it’ll basically be like a participation trophy?

“Hola, Amigos. I know it’s been a long time since I rapped at ya, but things have been pretty fucked up...”

True Jalops heat their water on a fire pit and wash their cars outside during winter.

Yeah, but he was a Cardinal, so no doubt he covered it up The Right Way.

When Fancy Kristen said she wanted “a car filled with coke,” this is not what she meant.

Just want to say thank you for all your work, especially your incredible investigative pieces year after year. Deadspin is a great place for dick jokes and making fun of Austin Rivers, but for me, no author’s byline here commands as much attention as yours.

Because the goddamn NFL won’t.

This is quite a shock, since there has been virtually no substance at ESPN for many years now.

“The receiving player must maintain full control of the ball from the initial point of contact all the way through CTE diagnosis.”

Big deal. FIFA has been determining outcomes with paper in briefcases for decades.

I know it’s been played out forever but crying Jordan still gets me

Richardson was apparently very disappointed to learn he had to sell the whole team rather than each player individually.

I think Dean knew what Grindr is but didnt wanna disclose bc hes super discreet, 7inches clean/cut, ddf and cant host.

“Add this clip to the Golden Tate mixtape Chicago Bears blooper reel:”

This has always been projection. They’re far more fragile and more demanding of safe spaces free of criticism than even their most wilted stereotype of liberals.

Amazing that the people who were very vocally ripping the liberal “snowflakes” are now proving to be even more precious snowflakes.

To be fair, he usually just hangs around the Ponies